This is Not a Cupcake

This is not a cupcake. This is heaven in a cup. This is irrefutable proof of Gods love for us. If rainbows and kittens and fairy dust had a party, you would get this:

Frosting is in the Friendship Heights area of DC. If you ever want a really good, homemade cupcake, go here. They make their cupcakes fresh daily AND they make the frosting. Don’t get me started on the frosting. Sweet..sweet…frosting. *drools* The cupcake pictured is called ‘Birthday.” It is the most scrumptious, orgasmic chocolate I’ve ever tasted, topped with vanilla frosting that would make Betty Crocker cry. Its counterpart “Happy,” (not pictured) is a vanilla base with chocolate icing and is just as delicious.

oreo This isn’t a cupcake either. This oreo deliciousness is what I imagine euphoria tastes like. The smell of chocolate when you open the container that radiates from this seduces you and puts you in a trance. Try not to stare in its eyes. It will have you doing unspeakable things: like licking the plate in a crowded cafeteria at work…not me, a friend. Or, running two blocks (you NEVER run) to get there before they close just to buy one…not me, another friend. You’ve been warned.

The icing is vanilla with Oreo cookies blended into it. I don’t think you heard me: OREO COOKIES BLENDED INTO IT! As if Oreos aren’t awesome enough in their original, unblended-into-delicious-icing-on-top-of-an-even-more-delicious-personal-sized-cake state. The wonderful bakers at Something Sweet (located in the Palisades NW with a few flagship locations around DC…google them now) combined my favorite cookie and my favorite guilty pleasure in a way that could only have been better if God came down from heaven and baked it Himself.

gross Okay, now this REALLY is not a cupcake. And not in a good way. This thing came from Whole Foods and disappointed me so badly that I considered giving up cupcakes all together..Okay, not really but I did not have another cupcake for like…a day…after eating this. For one, the cake was sooooooo dry. Maybe it was supposed to be poundcake? No, maybe it was just gross. And then they had the nerve to put the blandest, least palpable chocolate on the inside. It tasted like disappointment, poverty and broken dreams. And the icing you ask? What icing? The white stuff on top had no flavor, no sugar, no pizzaz and no business in my mouth. Spare yourself and avoid the bakery at Whole Foods.


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